blacK solitude

Friday, March 31, 2006

great
jus when i tot my day cldn't get any worst
the same prob occur again
how wonderful life is
to be surrounded by such freakin probs
such freakin probs
really ruin my whole entire day
including my next day..
actuallythe whole week

lovely
i jus love the way how she says it
how it's owiz abt me
ya..
my attitude
ya..
i shd change it
ya..
im nt a gd daughter

terrific
im owiz the one in da wrong
im owiz the one giving probs to my parents..
to my WHOLE FAMILY
ya..
it's owiz me
boy..
im so honoured to the DA ONE in the family
im so proud of myself

do u see me on tat damn phone every single night?
do u see me slpin late every freakin night?
do u ?
no..
u don...
so don ASSUME

such a simple qns i've asked
u cannot even ans..
u cannot even reply
instead
u beat ard the bush
saying
i shdn't speak to u in UR attitude
instead
i shd reflect
think abt my own actions
i shd change
i shd compromise
great..
it's me again isnt it ?
u don lyk me to use hp at home..
fine
then i'll use it somewhere else
don blame me
if i dun go back
why?
bcos im freakin nt allowed to use MY HP AT MY SO-CALLED HSE IN MY OWN BEDRM !

oops..
forgot..
the bedrm aint mine either..
it belongs to MY SIS !
great..
im better off living at some streets..
oh no..
guess..
some streets.. might b taken by those roaming cats..rats??
ya..
they own the place..
i've got nowhere to go..

so tis is wat ppl call family ?
i get it..
wher one member definately must be the black sheep of the family izit?
ahh..
great..
im the black sheep ?
so i see..
i und..
no nid to explain.
u said
u can cancel the line anytime..
cos it's under ur name
but u didnt
why?
cos u wanna give me another chance?
boy..
im really touched by that action of urs..
seriously
i can go sign up a new line anytime..
cos why?
im eligible..
try stopping me then..

u said
u oredi compromise
u oredi gave in to me
wat izzit abt me tat's so hard living together!
wat izzit ?!
tel me frank
tel me straight
don lemme guess
i HATE guessing games!
don beat ard the bush anymore
if u don lyk wat i do
TELL ME

i cant bear tis anymore
u tink it's funnie ?
u tink.. i dun care at all ?
u tink..im not a human?
tat i dun hav any feelings?
u're so goddam wrong..

am i such a terrible person... ?
if so..
tell me..
i...i...
i'll noe wat to do..
if it makes u happy...
i'll do it...

why am i..
crying over such things?
why does it hurt so much
when i saw u
shaking ur head looking down
when u left my rm ?
is tat a sign of giving up on me ?
did u regret tat u gave birth to me ?
did u??
did u??!!

why does more and more probs kip coming up?
my life aint empty
u noe?
god..
it aint empty..
it's full of sorrowness
it's full of bitterness
it's full of saddness
don come in no more....

please....

i nid no consoling frm nobody...
i giv no explanation
don ask
i dun wish to say any more
jus let things be..
the way it is...

~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 3:03 PM

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