Thursday, July 28, 2005
ppl......
listen up.......
Why are we all feelin so down !! ??
Why do we keep thinkin that we dance lyk shit ???
Why are we so demoralized??
Wat happened to the old .. happy... enjoyin and lovin dance ... NRA ???
Why is everyone crying ? breaking down ? fallin apart? sick ? having mood swings???
WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why cant we jus b lyk how we used to be ??? Dance lyk normal.. Be lyk a normal person....
Why ???
Dance... does it really hav to be tat stressful ???
Why isn't dance pure and simple any more ???
i can't stand the fact that everyone around me is lydat.........
i can't.........
i really can't..........
i feel so helpless.... not being able to help them out......
and when.... i've actually got alot of my own probs too.....
i only chose to ignore them....
cos... i feel that perhaps ignoring wld b better... much better than facing it...
yes.... im hidin... im running away ....
i turn to dance... whenever im down....
but right now... i feel even down when im dancing....
why is tat so ???
i dunno................
Ann said im improving....
Am i ???
i dun feel that i am......
I really hope... everyone can cheer up...
Be who you are... and not tryin to change urself for others....
You MUST believe in urself....
Have faith....
if u tink u ain't good enuff... then do smthin abt it !!!
rather than wasting time.. feelin demoralized... pitying urself....
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we cant be lydat.... i koe, sometimes i'll get lost too.... dunno wat da hell am i dancing ... dunno wat's my aim....
learn to breathe.. relax... think.... recap.... analyse....
i rem wat ann had said to me before....
" if you cant get a step right, then go and practise it ! no point sittin ard.. complaining .. crying that you cant get it right... if u don move your butt, how do u expect to get the step right ??? Jus kip practising !!!! "
makes a whole load of sense right???
peeps,
let's work hard together k !!! help each other out !!!
we will survive...
and...
we will win......
~~*__ Dishearten; we are not__
___Break thru; A sealed promise___~~*
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 2:18 AM
* * *
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
argh... finally....
i can get to blog.....
been... so many days.... alamak... really too busy to blog...
okie.. lemme update hoh...
ermz.... i start frm sat lah...
23rd of July, 2005
REMIX Dance Comp... Finals... yess.... it's on.... met buDdy at our house bus stop tat day.. early in da morning... cos nid to report at 11am... damn.. early rite?? and the competiton actually starts at 630pm... ALAMAK.....
nvm... met her... then... tok abt the competition later on... my legs were feelin very weak ah... i feel lyk a jellyfish... not bcos im very nervous abt the comp.... cos... i've been dancing too much.. i don hav any time to rest.. alamak... no time to sit down.. and rest my poor legs....
*xing ku ni men le !!! *
then... reached the youth centre... then found out frm the MC tat one grp withdrew frm the competition... contradictz remix ... (hope i spelled correctly..) awwW... i was actually lookin forward to their performance.. cos... dunno leh.. somehow.. they left an impression on me lah... but.. sad thing is.. ya.. they withdrew frm it lah.. cos.. heard frm orh jiao tat they don hav time to mit up and train.. cos.. some in ns mah.. others i tink workin bah...
aniwae... time passed very quickly... and soon,.. we were on stage.. omg.. oh.. forgot to tell ya.. we nid to dance 3 8's.. for the intro part.. god.. so messy.. cant believe it... lol... nvm lah... then.. our turn came quickly... lol...
i realised hoh.. i was actually very nervous.. suddenly.. when we were there at the stage area... i was standing behind our seats.. practising the 8 8's tat were given by them.. haaz.. >_<>_<>HapPy 18th BirThdAy , jOycE !!!!
tink.. she din expect us to rem .. hahahah... noob.. we all .. very sweet... very thoughtful de k.. of cos we rem lah!!! then... then... went cineleisure to eat... hahah... after eatin... oh.. by the way.. the cake.. is damn nice loh.. esp the strawberries.. woOOoo.... *drooling* ya.. anywae... the last thing to report today is...............................................
The Y.O Buddy kissed Joyce !!!!! on da cheeks !!!!! LOL ... and and... it was taken down !! by our photographer... Dou Dou !!! weeeEEee !!!
muahahahah.. she shocked ... stunned for a moment.. lucky she's a lagster... hahah.. if not.. wont b able to capture tat moment down.. hahahah.... will post it up very soon.. pls look out for it oh !! =D
24th July 2005 , Sunday
today.. woke up so early... cant stand it.. yesterday after the comp.. slack at cine's bk.. then got home ard 2plus... after i finished bathing.. it was ard 3.... alamak.. slept ard 3 plus... then.. woke up at.. 7plus.. arGghh... TIRED * !!!
then... reached orchard at 930am sharp... no one in sight.. then.. sam came... she was holdin onto starbucks blended coffee.. wooooo... yummy !!! kekeke... then.. waited for charmaine... e rest was late... took cab straight into shang-ri la hotel...
then.. was super tired ah... i fell aslp when waitin for our turn to rehearse.. alamak... hate it man.. ask us to reach at 10am sharp.. in e end... the stage wasn't even set up properly... kao... made us waited.. for an hr plus.. and.. no food was given to us !!! damn.. so hungry.. it's not healthy to skip breakfast... >_<>2 projects due the next day....
sian.. then.. suddenly the craving for potato chips came.. (by the way... i had chocolates earlier in the day oredi.. ) then i bought one big packet of Jack and Jill's Sour Cream and Onion... and Master Potato's Cheese Flavor Potato Chips...
guess wat?
i finished the whole big packet of Jack and Jill's... when i was doin my project.. and.........i went to bed immediately... i wanted to take a quick nap... before i carry on to my next project.. s short one... damn... who koes.. when i woke up..
horray! the sun is shinnin so brightly oredi !!! >_<> 25th July , Monday)
yesss... i ate potato chips again.. and the best thing is.. after eatin... i went to my bed again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghh........ eat eat eat.. non stop !!! shit.......
then.. when i woke up.. i continue to eat again.. as i was doin my project at the same time.. finished the sm assigment.. but.. cant get my printer to cooperate with me.. was so frustated at tat point of time.. tat i feel lyk smashin my printer... damn...
in e end.. lucky my classmate can help me print.. thx syl... ^^
then went studio.. to look for them... was feelin so much better when i reach studio.. felt stress-free... then attended the class.. chup ji ka... hahaz.. today's choreo.. okie lah.. then.. after the freshies' class ended..
ask dou to accompany me walk to the bus stop.. to pass min some things... pls lemme hav the job.. i nid da money.. argh... then.. walked back.. and started our suntec dance practice...
hur hur... bunny came down after her class... so surprised to see her.. haz.. then..cleared up some steps.. (i hope..) then.. bad me.. cos i wanna watch incredible tales... haha.. then... time's up le.. i stop dancing.. switched on the tv... and sat down to watch..
but hoh.. during commercial break tat time... i stood up and practise with joyce and pei ying oh !!!
after slackin a while.. watched the top model thingy for a while.. went to kap... to eat...
LOL...
yes.. i ate again.... i ate mcnugget meal.. i din wanna upsize.. but dou.. alamak... upsize for all.. cos me n budDy ask him helped us buy.. pang too selfish le.. lol... he went down to buy himself... kaoz... he's out of COGY... lol....
then... i reached home !!! and here am i ... bloggin away !!!
finally.... tat's the end of my 3 days... finally finished updating... okie.. time to slp... lecture tml... argh.. sux... niteys..........
~*___I finally find___
____you and i collide___*~~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:18 AM
* * *
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
had Marketing Research paper today...
wat can i say...
it totally sux... sux lyk hell....
i studied.. memorized so much.. yet... the questions...
damn.. wasted my time.. studyin for tat damn paper... i should hav used tat time.. wisely.. catch some winks...
damn.. stupid paper....
i'll hav to pray damn hard that i wont flunk tat paper....
sux....
right after the paper... q'naire briefing.... damn.. tot it'll b quite fast.. in e end.. dragged for 2 hrs plus... can u imagine !!! the mrsh paper ended at 3.... the briefin ended at 5plus... damn....
was even more stressed up after the briefing... cos... realised tat.. i've got lotsa things to do... and i haben even hav the time to touch it....
Let's tok abt it....
Mcom project... (in grp of 2)
SM assignment.. (individual basis)
Mrsh q'naire.... ( individual basis too)
IBS data call... (individual basis)
all due...
NEXT WEEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pls... can some one take over my place for tis sem ?? pls.... i nid to rest.. i nid to slp...
not to forget tat....
Remix competition is comin Sat...
MOE performance on SUn.....
Test run on thurs....
RTHK trainin on thurs and fri....
wow....
this is so cool huh ???
im all packed up... how am i supposed to do project??? how ?? how to squeeze time inside my schedule... ??
can i jus request smthing.. ??
can i jus b a dancer instead... ??
can i jus focus on one thing at a time...??
damn...................
i cant afford to break down... and i wont let myself break down...
i nid to be strong...
i believe i can overcome all these...
*gotta hav faith... gotta believe in myself... yes.. you can do it... yes...*
*breathes*
sometimes... all these things start rushin at me... i really don hav any time to slow down and catch my breathe....
no... it's really hard....
i jus nid another me... pls clone me... make the other half.. go do all e assignments.. projects... lemme jus concentrate on my competition.... please?
sigh.... it's nt gonna work....
i nid money... im short of cash... i nid to work... i nid time... do i hav any??
NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shucks... i cant go on lydat...
i feel lyk.. im puttin on weight... i've been eatin .... non stop....
yes... u've heard me....
NON- STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn... i cant control..... i jus feel lyk eating.... i kip eating.... i dun feel lyk doin anything.. except eat and slp...
how great is this...
damn.....
tis entry of mine...
i shd del it......
oh ya, if i haben been updating my blog... pls understand... i dun even hav time to complete my project.. how to hav time to update it regularly....
and ppl... pls understand... if... i told ya.. i really don hav time for smthing... i really really mean it...
still... im gonna try my very best... to do everything.. hand up everythin on time... help me.. if u can... cos.. i'll b needin lotsa help...
*grateful*
~*___Think abt us together again___
__Dream abt us together again___*~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 3:04 AM
* * *
Sunday, July 17, 2005
it's sunday again !!!!!!!
oh dear... time passes so quickly....
my first and last paper falls on comin tues... alamak....
and guess wat?
i haben even started on it...
i was watchin video tapes in the afternoon... slpin in the evening... later... goin to watch tv at night... oh dear... guess i've only left midnight to study ......
mmmm........ hope i'll b able to finish everythin by tml bah....
lucky ... it's an afternoon paper... cos ... i'll hav more time to study... heezz...
kinda shiok leh... been slpin almost the whole day today.. haha... i'm really v v v tired....
u koe... cos yesterday ann was there with us ... we trained... trained until really v tired... then she made us danced again and again... and again... alamak... the last time.. before we get a break.. i was really exhausted!!!!!!!! i dun hav any energy to dance any more....
god...
and the best thing is....
even when im slping... im dreamin abt dancing !!!!!!!!
omg........
no wonder... when i wake up..... i felt even more tired!!!
L0L............
these are called the symptoms of over-dancing..... hahaha....
alrite... i better blog off le.... i shd study abit more... before goin out for my tv show !! heh heh heh....
buai buai ~~~
*~~~__ As the blue moon rises__
___my scars deepen____~~~*
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 8:46 PM
* * *
Saturday, July 16, 2005
bad... very bad....
jus saw my dad's leg....
the whole of his knee...
is swollen..................
yes.... swollen.... the whole part....
the whole part ... swelled up to twice the normal size.... it looks as if... there's smthing growing inside..... oh my god...... im really worried for him man.... i asked him.. wat did the doc say today? then he told me... he worked till 9pm plus leh.. din get to see any doc... -_-"
can u believe it.. with his current condition.. he still went for work.. initially what my mum told me was.. he work half day only.... but.. in e end.. he work until so late... i tink.. tat explains the swelling bah.... haiz.... lucky.. he took off tml.. to go see doc... if not ah... i cfm will bring him.. go see doc myself....
anyway... today... had MRSH briefing in e afternoon.. tat damn lecturer... was LATE !!! for half an hr.... wah lao... he start on time... we cld leave at 230 loh.... -_- in the end.. we left ard 3plus.... idiot...
then went to studio... for RTHK dance prac.... Ann came a little after 4pm... then showed her everythin frm the top... hahaha.. and hoh... she said tat the towel steps okie leh... she don nid to change anything !! hahah... abit happy... cos me.. sk and bunny choreo de.. kekeke....
then learnt some new steps... and brushed up the ' trance ' steps ... and then... tada~
the MOE ppl reach le... lol... somehow.. abit nervous.. when showin them our dance.. cos.. we represent NP leh... alamak... cannot cock up... lucky.. she lyk our item... and.. she's a v nice lady !!! actually both ladies also v nice... Mrs Chan and Ms Ng... hahah... really really nice oh... even Ann says so too....
then.. rested for a while... we continued with the training... and it's... the drilling of the 8 8's...
alamak... i danced the jazz thingy... danced until so scared.... i koe... im not doin it correctly at all... Ann knows it... jus tat.. she din say... some how lah.. tat's what i get from her... tat's worst u koe... cos it makes u feel lyk... " ni mei jiu le... no matter wat she says.. also cannot help le.. nth can b done le... "
then hoh.. i realised tat... i forgot to breathe leh!!! i was so nervous... so stress under jazz.. that i forgot to breathe... i held my breathe... no wonder hoh.. i felt breathless after i finished man... alamak... i held on to it for 3-4 8's bah... crazy hoh...
L0L....
i din koe either... was tinkin to myself.. how come... im panting lyk mad ah...then only i realised i din breathe... lol.. pasieh... i repeated tis ... hahaha....
oh no !!! it's oredi 1.46am...
Shit..... i shd slp now........ tml nid to wake up at 8plus.. alamak...
i shall continue tis entry tml yeah!!!
niteyz~```
~~*___ wat do i really want___
____ wat do i really need _____*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:00 AM
* * *
Friday, July 15, 2005
kinda scared...
RTHK... don hav much time left....
next sat is our competition....
our costumes not yet settled....
our song... not really out yet...
steps... haben finish learnin...
formation for some parts.. also not out yet...
and.. we got lotsa parts to clear...
wOW.....
and to think.. next week... everyone will b v busy with their papers...
how to prac???
great man....
supposed to b miting ann yesterday... but she kanna food poisoning...
omg... ke lian de ta.... owiz tio food poisoning....
mus watch wat she eats clearly oh... cos i tink.. her stomach v weak... cannot handle...
still.. we had RTHK training.... taught e rest the 'towel steps' .. but we forgot alot... in e end.. we choreo our own !! v nice... ! hahahah... ermz.. then i realise hoh... mm... the towel steps is for.. the MOE performance on sunday.... then... we included... butt shaking... alamak... lyk abit inappropriate hoh... mmmm... nvm.. ltr ask ann.. see wat she tinks... ha....
somehow... halfway thru the training... i.... kept quiet.... really quiet.... then i went off to one corner.... to do my project.... dunno why... suddenly... lotsa things on my mind... felt so tired... physically... emotionally....
and... yesterday... my leg... hurts abit...
damn...
i feel... tired....
perhaps... also bcos of tis song.... cos it kept running thru my mind... making me... even more down....
ha.... ridiculous rite?
well.... i dunno lah... i said perhaps mah....
after training... went over to blk 73 studio to say hi to sharlene....
yeah... she came down to find us after her work... hahaz... (no, she's not sweet doing tat! =p)
she was stil her usual self... acting cute.. hahah... so happy for her.. her cast is off.. her doc said she can go jogging !! hahahah.... she was very excited abt tat man ! lol.....
koe it has been really hard for u shar.... jia you !!! u're on a very fast recovery speed !!! im sure ... in no time... u'll b in the studio... dancing again !! i miss u !! =)
alrite... then went back home with buddy n joyce.... yes.. joyce? u mus b tinkin.. why is she goin back to jurong with us ?
as usual... she dun wanna go back home early... ha... but.. hai hao she's there... cos.. at least... she can talk to buddy.... did i mention tat i was very quiet ? yeah... i din speak at all.... jus closed my eyes... and slept thru the journey....
i koe... it seems lyk.. im havin mood swing again... no lah... im nt.. jus tired... when u're tired... u don hav the energy to do things.. to speak.. yes... i'm really that tired... which u guys might not fully understand bah....
i appreciate u guys makin the effort to accompany me buy dinner and some other stuff.... i felt quite bad... cos.. it feels lyk.. u guys are jus following behind me... when i dun even bother to talk to u guys...
Sorrie~~~~
To budDy... : don owiz tink u said da wrong things.. tat's y i kept quiet ... no lah... u're not so wei da k... don tink so highly of urself... hahahaz... =x im not angry with u lah... i wont b angry with u de... at most.. i'll only b pissed off.. hahaha ( i tink it's da same hoh ?) so... don owiz apologize to me... cos u've done nth wrong... even if u did.... i'll let u koe de... =) thx budDy....
alrite guys... morale of tis post...
" don kip listening to sad songs... it WILL affect ur mood !!!!! "
yeah... i better start studyin... start doin my projects.... got 2 on hands... deadline on the same date... gosh... i really must pray hard... tat i'll get thru my yr 3....
oh ya... one more thing... yesterday when i got home... shortly... my father came back.... he shocked me... really.. to e max liao.... at first.. he asked me to help him buy dinner... then i abit lazy.. i ask him.. can wait for a while mah.. cos i jus finished eating... kinda full... then he said.. he hungry.. ask me go buy... then i ask him.. mmm.. can u go down n eat?
then he looked at me.. then he said.. " wo shou shang le... how to go down eat? " he showed me his chin... it was kinda red... lyk.. the skin was rubbed against smthing v rough... then he told me..
he had an accident on the highway......
btw... in case u guys dunno...
my father... he drives a bike....
yes.... i was so shocked to hear tat...
at first i tot... okie.. at least.. he only hurt his chin.... then i ask him... u okie mah? only tis part painful har?
then.... he lifted up his leg... his left leg...
it was bleeding.....
oh my god... lucky i dun faint when i see blood.... cos .. it was really alot of blood... then i jumped up.... then i asked him to go toilet wash away the blood... then he said.. don nid lah.. then he sat down on the sofa... he said he nid to rest...
then i quickly changed.. went to the coffeeshop.. got his dinner.... i rushed back quickly... then after he finished eatin... i helped him clean his wound... wipe off some of the blood.... omg...
the wound... is so big.........................................
but.. i cant do much.. cos .. firstly, i dun really koe wat to do with such a big wound... secondly... my house.. don hav the first aid kit.. i cannot dress up the wound... all i can do.. is to help him clean the wound...
felt.. v sad... v xin tong.. when i saw him lydat... cos... lookin at my dad... he aint young anymore... he really worked v hard.. to rise the 3 of us... and.. he.. actually said to me... "i almost went down to see the Lord of Yan... lucky i managed to hold on to my life..."
im worried for him... he... stil went off to work tis morning... despite he's injuried....
i asked him.. to see a doc... he said... " no nid lah.. don wanna waste money..."
which made me feel very guilty... the reason why he's workin so hard... is purely jus bocs he wanna make sure.. all his kids.. can enjoy.. and lead a comfortable life.. he doesn't mind.. slaving off his life for us.... =(
im really thankful to hav such parents.. i koe.. they do nag at me.. scold me at times... but.. i koe... they only want me to become a better person... yet ... i dun appreciate tat... i actually rised my voice at them... wat kinda daughter am i...
i love u dad.....
i love u mom.....
sorry for not listening to u at times.....
~*__ hai ai ni dai yi dian heng__
__hai you shi jian cai neng ping heng__*~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 11:34 AM
* * *
Thursday, July 14, 2005
oh my god.....
i really really really lurvvee tis song alot !!!
been crazy abt tis song... been playin tis song all e while... even during the rdshow... hahahahah...my classmates kip askin me.. " ni bu sian ah!! kip playin the song over and over again... !!
L0L....
but i really lurrve it !!!!
ya... it's a very sad sad song... lonely song... lyk wat i've told min... tis song... listen le hoh.. cfm feel very sad de.... might mood swing after listening...
hahahah...
but i dun giv a damn lah...cos... at the most... i go back home then listen loh... then at least... if i really mood swing... i can jus cry myself to sleep...
heeez....oh, today.. felt v happy... mayb bcos it's e last day for me to be at the roadshow... heh heh heh... finally.. it ended.... sick of rdshows.. hahahah... but i koe.. there are more to come man.. esp in the next sem... i better start loving it...
anyways..
another factor to why im feelin so happy today... cld b bcos tat i feel closer to my classmates le.. hahahah ... i joke with them leh !!! i ... i... tok abit of cock leh... hahahah... *proud* well, at least... im not a loner hoh !! im not zi bi leh !!! kekekeke... =D
then.. went for RTHK trainin immediately after the rdshow... learnt the last 2 sets of choreo... heh heh... v nice neh... v malay oh.. kekeke.. but nice... dunno why.. i kip forgettin steps man... oh dear~... the Short Term Memory (STM) of mine is gettin worst ah...
oh dear.,...v bad neh..lucky hoh... i managed to rem.... in the end lah... hahahah.. cos i kip goin over it again and again oh... finally... i got it sia... hahahaha....
after trainin... went to KAP for dinner as usual... wuuuu !!!guess wat i ate????
L0L...
Big Mac leh !!!!!surprised hoh ???
cos i seldom take beef de... afraid of e smell... hahahah.. but i ate leh !! lol... heng.. not so bad.. mayb also bcos. i put 3 packets of sweet chilli leh... nicey***
alrite... im gonna stop here... cos i nid to turn in oredi... tml mitin ann at 11am... gotta wake up early...
ciaoz ````````
~~`____wo yao xie xie ni gei de____
_______ni na zhou de yi qie______`~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 2:09 AM
* * *
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Tired....
really tired today....
fell aslp immediately when i sat down on the bus, on my way back home...
and i mean.. immediately...
before tat... met up with joyce and xin.... went KAP to eat... had sundae..... *a lil too sweet.. but still v yummy!! *
was talkin to them... mostly on the subject on... "relationship"
guys... it's really not ez to understand gals... really.. i hav to admit... gals... they are very special kinda ppl... we may not say it out to u directly... but most of the time... we're dropping hints all the way.... try to catch it... be more attentive to watevergals say or do...
really... in order to understand gals... at least.. 20%....
guys... u gotta b real sensitive....
make sure u koe wat are her needs.....if u really put in effort... it ain't tat hard at all....
never treat a gal that u lyk... or ur gf too good... cos.. they'll take you for granted... BUT.... u cannot treat them too bad either... u've gotta learn how to balance it well...
by treatin a gal too good... she'll hav the impression tat u need her alot... u cannot live w/o her... which is wrong... bcos sooner or later... she'll get sick of you.. cos u're nth special.. nth interesting and very desperate to get her full attention...
sometimes... guys.. u nid to play hard to get too... but.. really.. nothing is good when taken in excess.... don owiz play tis kinda "game"... it'll backfire one day... before u realise it...
hope... it's useful to da guys out there....
anyway... i guess, many of u... esp those who noe abt me and him... u guys are confused and curious rite.. dunno wat's happening btw me and him... dunno whether are we stil together...
well, im confused too... but... in my point of view... i tot i oredi explained it to him... made it clear to him... but then.. i only realised that my message din really get thru to him... after i got a message frm him.. saying smthing lyk.. " oh.. i tot we're still togther... sorry.. "
sigh.....
must it be so difficult... ?
i koe.. im avoiding.... im hiding... running away from him.... not facing the reality.... gosh.... it aint easy for me too...
i mean... i dun even koe wat im feeling rite now... im confused too... he doesn't get wat i mean... i dunno how to explain to him either....
was supposed to mit him today....
ya... bingo.... i din turn up...
i chose to avoid the topic again...
i koe.. im being v unfair to him.... cos... i feel lyk.. im nt givin him an answer... he's hangin there... not knowing to give up ... or continue...
sad...
do i still hav feelings for him ??
i wish....
i can know the answer too....
im sorry... for letting u suffer lydat....
guess... i shdn't even have gotten into a relationship... cos i can't even handle my own emotions... i dun even noe wat im feeling.. wat im tinkin... if tis goes on... i'll be hurting lotsa ppl.... which i don wan to..... perhaps joyce is right... i havnt' mature yet... dunno wat i want.. dunno wat i expect in a relationship... which is why i cant handle when tis kinda situation happens...
i tink... im really not ready....
not anymore...
at least....
not now...
~*___made a stupid mistake___
___which haunts me forever___*~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 10:58 PM
* * *
Monday, July 11, 2005
ohh....
im owiz bloggin when im nt supposed too...
ermz... i changed my skin again...
L0L !!!!
ya... i koe i koe !!!
im forever changing skin...
hahahahah... aiyah.... ermz... cos e previous one... abit laggy hoh...
some more... everythin is moving.. i see le.. also blur neh...
tis one is better... kekekeke....
anyway... my whole body is aching ... so badly.. frm the back of my neck... all e way to my legs...!!! can u believe it !!!
oh my god....
oh... yest rite... wasn't in a gd mood in da morning... haiz... don wanna tok abt it... cos it stil makes my blood boil... hahaha... then went for ann's jazz class... though i din want to... no choice too... cant really concentrate during the class.. felt tat i cant do jazz.. cant catch it.. damn....
sian... i cheered up a little after the class.... complained to yen they all... felt alot better.... plus i ate my noodles ! heh heh.. and yen's tang yuan... (nt nice at all.. i only lyk the peanuts! LOL.. )
den.. after ann finished eating.. RTHK training began.....
was feelin so pek cek.... argh.... everytime during RTHK training.. i'll owiz feel pek cek... haha.. dunno why... mayb cos... my nose is givin my probs bah.. cant breathe properly... kip feelin breathless after i dance... though i din full out all e way....~
den after ann left.. RTHK ppl started leaving.... slack at the studio for a while.. then left for dinner.. at KAP....
oh... then... met up with min, jo, tang yuan and wang qin at PS...
guess where did we go ??
hehe hehe hehe...
Club MoMo !!!!!~~~~
yes !!!! im clubbing !! LoL.... it's been ages man !!!! din wanna go initially... cos... seems lyk no one is goin.... everyone promised to go... in e end... said they dun feel lyk goin.... alamak...
then... 3 of us... (min, jo & me) kip hestitating.... dunno to go or not.... then in e end.. we agreed on goin there... cos.... it's FREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahah..... promotion lah...
wow... when we got there tat time... the queue was sooooooo LONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...
lucky............. hehehe...
our dear YuXin is there... !!!
we managed to chup in the line... heh heh...
Thanx dear ~~~!! ^^
den finally got into the place.. after waitin for sooooo long... cos the queue isnt moving at all... a v big place leh..impressed... playing rnb songs oh... *high leh*
BUT......
when we manages to squeeze into the dance floor...
the dj started playing noob songs... trance/techno songs!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG~~~
bore to death.... plus... the lights ah... kip flashin... v dizzy leh.... alamak...
jus went we were abt to leave the place... the dj.. started playin rnb songs again !!! hahahah... purposely leh.. cos they dj saw us leaving.. he kinda upset.. LOL.... aiyah... hahahah... then stayed for a while more... then .. we... left the place oh...
you koe.. when i was dancing rite... ermz.. was kinda high.. cos rnb songs finally came on.. then .. hahah... i hitted tis guy... who's standing bside me... i hitted him twice.. consectively... LOL...
and u koe.. i tink.. i smack him quite hard.. LOL... so paiseh... lucky... im a gal... if not.. i bet i'll end up with his fist in my nose.... *phEw*
Conclusion:
might go back there again.. hahah.. perhaps on ladies night !!! cos free flow all e way leh~~!!
well, tat's yesterday... today... woke up at 1230... though i dun wan to... hav to reach raffles city shoppin mall at 2pm.. to help out my business unit, MyStamp, with their sales...
den... when i reached there... spent some time lookin for e booth.... then.. i approach one of the staff there... told them im frm np.. supposed to helped them out...
guess wat they told me ?
" oh... the in-charges left oredi.. im not sure wat they wld want u to do..."
i stunned for a min..
then i told them.. i'll jus sit here and wait... perhaps.. the in-charges wil come back...
and i waited..... and waited....
finally.. saw a familiar face....
the person who briefed us during the product training....
i approached her... explained to her... then she said....
" im afraid there's nth much for u to sell... cos today is the last day oredi... nth much for u to do also... perhaps u can go back home and rest.. get urself prepared for tml... "
wat the.............. made me waste my trip there.... sian....
in e end... i shopped ard Raffles City for a while.... bought some facial products... heh heh heh... din spend too much tis time round... then walked to esplanade.. took bus... and went home...
met up with buDdy at nite... she v ke lian leh.. her mama don lyk her..... LOL... everytime... she don hav dinner to eat de... hahahah....
me... being such a nice... buddy...
of cos i'll accompany her eat dinner.... hahahah... as usual... chatted for a while... before heading home.....
uh-oh....
it's late... shit....
tml nid to wake up early.......................... cham...~~~
hahahh... tat's all folks ~~~!!!
tata~~~~
~~*__ when u believe___
there's nothing u can't achieve___*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 12:04 AM
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Friday, July 08, 2005
hey hey...
im back... heez...
blogging again...
jus changed my skin lehhh... !!!
nice rite???
heez...
though it's kinda small lah....
don mind lah... k...
anyway.. i might change again also...
LOL....
meanwhile... lemme stick to tis one...
perhaps for a week or so...
wanted to blog yesterday... but too tired le... cannot make it...
lemme update abit yeah?
Wed (6th July '05)
was feelin kinda feverish when i woke up in da morning...
missed my IBS tutorial... (i din mean too !! im serious !! )
then... i stil forced myself to go sch.. for the lect...
wasn't feelin well at all... in e end.. i skipped e afternoon lect..
haa... went for S&W instead...
din want to dance initially.. but.. seeing no one was there.. except me n joyce...
so.. we danced nor...
then... slack abit.... before goin over to blk 16.. for our usual dance training...
gosh... attendance was damn poor... juniors... not even up to 20...
seniors... worst... not even up til... 15..
>_<
tis is bad........................... bad bad bad.....
gotta b really strict with attendance man... cannot let tis go on... *shakes head*
anywae... ann taught a different choreo today !!!
wOw !!!
Damn cool man !!!
hahahah... we used Missy's song.. " Lose Control"
woooooooo... very cool neh.... the choreo... wooooooo.... heh heh heh...
love it... wanna pract ... wanna dance it well.. heh heh....
then... after the prac... ann went thru the choreo for " Im a Bomb? " with us... for da Remix Comp...
v sexy leh... LOL...
curious ??? simple....
Jus come down to YouthPark and support RTHK on the 23rd of July !!! LOL.....
alrite... hahah... end of wed... proceeding....
Thurs (7th July '05)
slept till 1pm plus.. heee.. *i jus love thurs... *
then forced myself to wake up ... get ready for S&W.... but before i left my place...
i.........
i..............................
I ate durians !!!!!!!!!! *yUmmmmyyy*
it's D24 durians !!!!!!
L0L....
damn nice.... i ate that... though im still feelin feverish !!!
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .......
LoL...
buden hoh... after i finish e durians ... i quickly drank water with salt...
and i took panadol too... jus in case lah...
oh... ya.. after S&W.... mood started changing....
v stress leh.... cos ann asked us to show her the 8 8's....
really stress leh... cos i wasn't with them when they were practising the 8 8's.... and.. i din learn the jazz thingy... din koe how to turn perfectly... omg..... i kip ... losing my balance... kip toppling over...
then she... kip saying... then either im not spotting.. or im not lifting myself up... my hands.. are dropping...
ArghHhhhh...............
hao nan ohhhhhhhh~~~~~
so pek cek with myself... haiz...
lucky... ann nids to go early... if not hoh... i cfm stress to da max neh... cfm cannot do sia... *must prac more... !!*
then.. after tat.. finally get to eat my dinner... but... ya.. it turn cold oredi... nevertheless... it still tastes great !!!
LOL....
slack.. ard in sch... till 11 plus... hahaha...
alrite lah... gtg blog off le.. tat irritating joyce is irritating me again... tat's her man... kips staring at me..., kips disturbing me... i cannot blog in peace...
L0L.... she sux... !! =D
don worry !!! i'll b back tonight !!!
ciaozzzzz```````
~~*__ Lost in the rain __
Won't I ever see the light again ? __*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 3:26 PM
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Wednesday, July 06, 2005
hey hey~
im bloggin again...
which im nt supposed to...
cos... i haben finish my tutorial yet....
not even one !!!!
shit........................
argh... dunno hw to do the ibs thingy... alamak....
dunno why...
it seems lyk... every wed.... is the toughest day for me !!!
ever since when i was in yr 1..... argh..........
but i love wed... cos ... i get to dance....... NRA practice....
sigh.....
i better finish tis up quickly.... if not.. i wont b able to wake up early tml ... for my mornin tutorial....
eeekkkk.... tutorial sux.........
uh-oh.....
tis is bad...
guess wat..... ?
i feel abit feverish....
havin running nose now... argh...
and to add on to it... im havin headache again....
How am i supposed to think lydat????
pls......... i cant fall sick....
lotsa things for me to do tml.... really....
though i owiz complain i nid a rest..
not now... really... not now.... >_<
let's tok abt smthing happier k ??
today... met up with evelyn for lunch....
missed her so much... finally get to eat together..... our... first time... eatin in sch together....
oh... guess wat?
Canteen 3 is selling red bean ice with milk !!!
OMG ~~~~
it tastes lyk heaven~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL..........
perhaps... tat's bcos i love red beans... hahah... v nice... plus... they giv generous amt of red beans leh....
shiokkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ~!!!!
mayb... i'll hav tat tml again !!!
LOL.........
alrite........ i hav to blog off le..... it's late..
gotta turn back to my tutorial again.....
niteyz~
(P.S : more pics will b up k... b patient.....)
~__ when the moon falls...
the stars will shine and guide you thru... __~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 12:27 AM
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Tuesday, July 05, 2005
hiyee !!
today i feel so gd... so fresh... so happy !!!
hahaha... perhaps it's due to da weather....
wooo.....
today... clear blue skies with some clouds...sunny... but very windy too...
kekeke... weather does really affect one's mood.....
Anyway....
today... is our first road show...
haha... so fun !!! no sch... yeah... !! no tutorials... no lectures...
wooooooooooo~~~
i lurve it !!!!!
haha... well, my position is da financial controller !!!
yeah!! im in charge of money !!!!!!!!!!
initially... business wasn't tat gd.... not much customers...
but... after... i took over da shift... *ahEm*
money started rolling in !!!!!!!!!!!!!
LoL.... !!
all thx to me !!! heh heh heh....
today... felt alot happier... felt tat.. i can at least communicate with my classmates le... can play ... tease ard... at least... i don feel lyk an outcast... lol....
well... then met up with dou.. joyce.. ariel for lunch...
Nasi Lemak and Red bean& Corn Ice frm Clementi !!! *thumbs up*
sluurrpssssss.... v nice... such a filling... satisfying lunch for me... hee...
made my mood even happier... kekeke...
then.. went back to help out at the rd show....
nth much to do there.. cos.. the peak period over oredi... was walking ard... patronizing other stalls... then came upon charmaine's... Vpost.... hee... free registration... !!! plus lucky draw leh.... !
hahah... then i signed up ... with becca.... and guess wat.. for e lucky draw.. we decided to throw a dice.... and both of us ... actually got pizza hut vouchers!!!!!!!
OMG !!!!
damn lucky rite??? LOL.....
BUT........................................................
i lost it !!!!!!! damn...... i cant find it any where.... shit.... hur... damn sad...
>_<
my voucher.................. LOL.......................
shucks... hope charmaine will b able to get me another one....... *prays*
anyway... after the rd show... went back to e studio... learnt the 8 8's for the remix competition....
damn fast..... shit....
i'm havin probs... turning.... alamak.... plus... i can feel... the strain on my leg... again....
not too good.... oh no~~~
hope the pain goes away !!!!
* must rest more*
hur hur.. signin off now.... gonna wake up early tml morning !!! the last day of our rd show !!!
ciaozzzzzzzzz``````
~*_ Sleep has never been
So impt in my life...._*~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 12:08 AM
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Monday, July 04, 2005
damn...
tis is the 2nd time tat im creating tis post...
koe why?
cos... jus when i was abt to finish....
my dear laptop...
IT HANG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN !!!!!!
now.... i gotta re-type the whole thing again !!!
lol...
it's damn freakin long !!!
hahahahah....
shit man !!!!
arGH !!!!!!!!
haiz !....
gotta start all over again...... hate it !!!!!
alrite... lemme start again... on wat happened yesterday....
yesterday... i was performing at Singapore Expo Hall 5....
yup... it's da... YCF Performance !!!
din koe the place was so cold... lucky i bought along my jacket.... but... cant owiz wear it on.... cos... they kip askin us to prepare.. get in position....
we (me, joyce & angela) reached there at 8am plus !! damn early.... v tired oh.... then... 3 of us... slp whenever we can ! even when we were at the back stage... waiting to perform !!!!
LOL.....
anyway... performed twice... 3pm & 8pm show.... finally... everythin is over.....
yay~~ no more trainings at tampines on tues evenings.... and early morning trainings on every sunday at bedok.... heeez.... ^^
oh... ya... saw him.... yesterday....
hahahah... not da him... another him... lol... if u get me....
weird weird kinda feeling....
oh gosh~
lucky he din see me.... hahahah....
but i did try to hide frm him....
not bcos im scared k ....
cos.. i dun wanna let him see me...
in tat costume !!! and the make up.... and the hairdo !!
eek !!!!
LOL....
alrite... end of yest.....
Today....
slpt until 1pm... actually can slp ltr de... all thx to her... for calling me... waking me up frm my beautiful dream.. if not, i'll b able to slp for at least another 2 hrs leh!!!
my buddy lah.... called me .... then report to me all e things tat happened on sat... alamak.... wasted an hr plus of my precious time.... fan si le....
LOL...
then.. slack for a while... went J.P to mit dou.. then met up wit joyce n pang at T.B plaza...
was supposed to go down to Zouk... to watch Manifesto and RTHK perform... but.. cldn't reach there in time....
plus.. none of us... knew hw to get there !!! ahahahah...
in e end.. slack at Great World...
had dinner there....
nth much actually... usual stuff.. talk abt dance....
which set me tinkin again...
gosh... dance.....
i feel lyk... im not improving anymore... im oredi stagnant.... i dun even rem ... when did i improve !!!
oh gosh.... i do so wanna improve.... i do so wanna become a professional dancer... i wanna learn all kinda dance... ballet.. jazz.. hiphop... latin dance !!!
everything !!!!!
sigh... but... where can i get more time ??? when will i hav more money... to take outside classes??
i wanna learn ballet... i wanna learn jazz..... but i nid money in order to learn frm outside....
in order to hav money.. i nid to work.. in order to work.. i nid to hav time... aRgh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i dun hav any of them !!!
shucks~~~
i dun wish to remain here.. remain at tis level.. forever...
i wanna learn more... wanna improve... wanna really really improve....
*jia you bah*
(P.S: he called me today... but i din pick up... >_< )
~` I'm living da lives of 2 different persons...
whoever can understand that.... ? ~`
Pictures !!
me. dou ( da so-called superstar)... he excited abt wearin blazer & my shades... 
me. yen !!! da Y.Y gals !! LoL... ^^
min. me !! =)
finally... da Y.O buddy !!~~ =D
oops !!! one more to go... C.O.G.Y ~ ta-da !!~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:47 AM
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