Saturday, August 27, 2005
why...
why..........
why cant i dance... properly.....
without lookin so shag... halfway thru the dance....
why is my stamina lydat?
why does it kip dropping ???
Is it due to......
my heart......
wat is wrong with u.....
or does the prob lies with my lungs...
i dunno.....
but certainly.... i dun lyk abt tis...
not being able to inhale fresh air deeply....
no, it doesn't really hurt tat much when i try to breathe in deeply...
jus tat.... it seems lyk... something is blockin my passage way...
i dunno...
the feelin is so weird...
so different....
yes, i do hav a history of asthma ....
but.... it's nth lyk asthma...
dunno.... i shdn't drag any longer bah....
time to really go see a doctor abt it...
or mayb joyce is right...
perhaps... there's really nth wrong with me...
it's jus my thinkin... tat's making me believe tat smthing is wrong....
but...
haha... better don scare myself bah...
anyway....
All the best to NRA - Lush
jia you for tml's heats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'll b screaming for each and every one of u !!!!!
don worry k !!!! i've got lotsa faith in u all !!!
make all the guys' nose bleed tml !!!!!
alrite... shall end it here...
tis entry... v short...
not much mood to blog either...
gd nite~
~~*__ _My heart is weakening___
___so don make a fool out of it____*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:35 AM
* * *
Sunday, August 21, 2005
yo yo !! only 2 grps performed yest... including NRAin.... and there's 5 sololists only !!! 2 grps !!!!!!?? 5 sololists !!!!!! ???? oh my god.... and... out of the 5...... 4 are kids.... -_-" oh dear.... wat has happen to tis year Suntec Dance? i seriously hope... the turnout ... would be better next sat.... oh man.... anyway.... Well Done... NRAin... u guys did a GREAT job !!!! *thumbs up* u all.. better buy bird nest for me to drink hoh !!! i screamed and cheered for u guys at e top of my lungs ah....!!! heee...... kinda nervous oredi... cos our grp would be in e last heats.... 3rd of Sept... ppl........... PLease make urself free on tat sat........ all my frens !!!!!!!!!! u guys better come down and support me !!!! LOL.... aWwwww.... 2 more weeks to go......... the feelin is oredi there le... saw the stage yest... went up to try the stage... lotsa feelings came back.... stil can rem.. last yr... New Tempo... omg... we nearly got 3rd... ha.... i missed New Tempo.... New Tempo.... : aWwwww........ i reallly reallly ... had great fun dancing together with u guys............... love u guys so much !!!!! *im serious* i missed the Fries Babes too... hahaha.... Fries Babes : hahaha... i missed u all too !!! Boy.... we shd do our dance together again !!! LOL.... ha... yest... except being very nervous abt Suntec Heats.... i was actually very very happy... cos.... i saw James.... Alvin.... Alex....Dan..... and Eugene... !!! hahaha.... They are.... JADE's Crew !!!! really missed all of them..... hahaha... finally.... can get to see them..... was so excited when i saw them walkin towards the stage.... asked buDdy to go over and find them... hahahah... really really missed them alot..... sigh.... hope tat can get to see them more frequently.... u guys.... better turn up next sat to support NRA Lush and the following sat to support NRA Mommy's Gals k !!! * it's a MUST !!!! * heeez... alrite... now as for today... 21st of Aug... i din really did much stuff... woke up at 11 plus.. had breakfast... then watched the repeated version of e Superstar... wOw.... Shi Xin Hui.... Really... really... can sing v well... every song tat she sang... i've got goosebumps all over me... alamak.... really v nice sia... it's really a pity tat she din get thru.... i really admire ur voice!!!! ^_^ then... watched buDdy called me .. ask me accompany her go makan... alamak... tat ger... made me wait for her so long... kns.... ehh... then hoh... as usual... she wasted my time.. chit chatting with me.. alamak... on our way back... heh heh heh... i spotted tis... top... playboy top.. v nice neh! only 8 bucks.. kekeke... while she spotted a roxy purse.. v nice also !! i tink.. 12.90 bah... buden v nice oh !! we're goin to get it by tonight!!! heh heh heh ... alrite... nth much for me to report also.... im off to do my work le... projects.... are really a big headache... ciaozzz~```` My new hair color !!!! *pink* The pin tat i bought!!! *hey, doesn't tis resemble someone... ?* ~~*__ Give me the time __ __ that i need __ __ Give me the patience __ __ that i want __*~~
today is Sunday!!!!
finally....
a day for me to rest at home....
a day for me to slp late.....
a day for me to relax....
a day for me to forget all my stress....
BUT...............!!!
it's gonna end soon !!!!!!!!!!
damn.....
tml is monday again....!!
Argh.....
i seriously hope... i've got more holidays.... more days for me to rest at home.....
tis kinda busy life..... is damn tiring.....
oh ya... yest.... 20th of Aug...
was the first round of Suntec Heats....
it was....
so....
Disappointing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and....
Pathetic !!!! 
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 7:12 PM
* * *
Friday, August 19, 2005
Heyz..
Im back blogging again.....
heez....
Having EM tutorial now.....
Feel v slpy..... so must type smthing.....
Oh..... I did my hair u noe...
Color and dyed my hair... kekekeke...
But.. look abit lian ...... Abit only !!! >_<
Buden.......... still v nice !!! LOL....
I lyk my hair... hahaha... Hope e color fades abit.. cos.. lyk abit too bright le.........
LOL....
*shy lah.....*
Hahah..... ehhhhhh...... I forgot wat im gonna say le...
Shucks.....My memory...
Really getting worse leh...
Oh no.... mmmm......
Today is Friday hoh...
Oh..... Ya..... I rem.....
Yest was his bday...
he msg me... ask me..
whether am I free on wed..
Cos heard frm evelyn tat he celebrating his bday at kster.........
but I din reply...
Not bcos I dun wan too...
cos... my hp... was cut off on tues...
I dun hav money to pay my hp bill...
Tat’s y... I din reply him...
I din call him to wish him happy bday too...
Cos every wed I hav dance prac...
Till v v late...
I din call when I reach home either...
Cos too tired le.. fell aslp immediately ...
Then… yest...
I msg him...
Was e last one to msg him… (I tink so)
Then he replied...
Told me tat...
he heard frm evelyn abt my line being cut off...
And...
He...
He transfer money into my account...
Ya... not a large sum of money...
But I feel so bad...
I din use it...
Don intend to use it...
Wanna transfer e money back to him...
And.. on wed morning...
Evelyn pass smthing to me....
It was frm him..
He bought a watch for me....
A white Adidas sports watch ...........
When....
I din even turn up or get him anything on his bday ...
Sigh...
All these actions seriously did touched me ...
But it confused me also...
I mean.. after such a long period of time...
He’s still doin all these...
Worrying abt me...
Buying this and tat for me.....
Haiz.....
Confused lah..... Dunno wat am I gonna do ....
He said...
he regretted letting me go.....
If he had one more chance....
He wouldn’t hav done tat....
I felt really guilty ...
Cos I koe.. I made him really ..... really.... heartbroken....
Sigh.......
I shd hav nv gotten into a relationship at all....
Cos I cant commit........
Cant sacrifice my practice time for relationship..........
Ended up.....
hurting him........
And making myself troubled....
Which.....Affected ppl ard me........
Haha............Aiyah......... will blog later again.........
Suddenly my mind went blank..
forgot wat I wanna say le......
Tink my tutorial goin to end soon.....
Yeah....~~!
Alrite..... Ciaoz.....
~~**__Ppl owiz say, life is full of choices
______no one ever mentions________
_______Fear________**~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 3:20 PM
* * *
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
today...
was the only day....
i don hav any dance prac...
i wore slippers today....
felt so xing fu....
hahaha...
finally....
my both legs...
get to breathe some fresh air....
rather than being kept inside .....
covered up.....cant breathe properly....
aWwwwwww......
my poor pair of feet.....
promise i'll bring u guys for a foot massage when i hav e money alrite??
which would probably....
take quite some time...
meanwhile....
jus cont to bear with me....
LoL.........
today....
went for SM tutorial......
Mrs Koh... was pissed off with us again...
chased us out of e clz room....
cant blame her...
cos... we didn't do as wat she has instructed us to ....
e whole clz....
only 3 ppl read e textbk..........
can tell she was really upset with us lah...
.guess she was tinkin...
why on earth.....
is yr 3 marketing students behavin lydat ......
come on ....~
we hav our own life.....
our own probs too......
we nid to work......
in order to survive.....
pls b more understanding ..........
read e textbook ???
i'll read it if i hav extra time....
look at e projects tat we hav....
and how much time are we given ???
it's so freakin limited !!!
so freakin short..........!!!
few more weeks to our integrated presentation....
now u're chasing us out of ur tutorial clz .....
jus bcos we din read e textbk.... ?
damn..............
students.....
we.....
really hav a lot of stress....
not showing it out... doesn't mean we don hav any....
is it really so hard to understand ??
u koe.....
Life..... does it really hav to b tat sucky??
as i was tinkin back... of those times....
i've had during my poly life.... though i've nt grad yet....
i was tryin to recall....of those gd memories...
guess wat?
90% of them.....
were frm....
my cca....
my club.....
my dance mates....
why izzit so ??
ppl w/o cca....
u wont be able to understand.....
e kinda feeling....
when someone really understands ur situation....
cos tat person has been in ur shoes before...he'll understand watever u're goin thru....
cos he's been thru before....
how abt sch ? my clz mates??
i admit....... when i was in yr 1....
it was pretty fun....
then....
things starting changin... becomin more n more complicated....
ppl change..... backstabbing is so normal tat it happens everyday.....
and everything is brought up to yr 2.....
till now... im in yr 3....
things..... still remain da same..........
it's really sad..... to see things lydat happening.....
if only..... things cld become better.....
Don get me wrong....
i'm not lookin ppl to pity me....
sympatize me.....
i dun nid all tat....
i jus nid support.....
nid ppl who really cares..... not pretendious......
not putting on a mask in front of me...
if anyone is unhappy with me....
pls,tell me frankly....
so tat i can change.....
change for da better sake.....
backstabbing.... gossiping....
wont do any one good.....
it jus adds on to ur karma...
believe it or not...
one more thing....
ppl....
jus try to understand....
even if u've never been in my shoes before....
jus try to hav more patience ....
all these small actions.....
does really help....
and it all means alot to me...
i'm really tired....
tired of trying.....
tired of doin things.... that i don wanna do..........
tired of pretending tat im alrite.... when deep down inside... i koe im not...
tired of thinkin tat... someday... things will go smoothly for me...
tired....
jus tired.....
and tat "Q" word jus kip appearin into my mind.... constantly....
~~*__ how can one b motivated
when no one cares... __*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 11:02 PM
* * *
Thursday, August 11, 2005
woooooooooooooooooooo........... yup !!! that's all our members !!! heh heh heh.... our grp... really... mixed together de... everyone so different... i've only danced with mae... bunny... before... if Remix is not included lah.... then it'll b inclusive of orh jiao & ba bin no.1 le... as for wu gui po... mmmmmmmm... danced with her... quite a few times.... all outside de !!! so... not considered bah... heh heh... well, anyway.... our grp... sat down and talk.... 2 times oredi.... yeah.... definately... the talks did helped lah.... made everyone else... more committed to Suntec Dance.... more committed to dance well... to improve and learn together... we must not give up k !!!! hav faith in u guys.... all of us can do it de !!!! ^_^ mus Jia You oh !!! alrite... now... wat shd i report leh... mmmmmmm.... i tink... i'll jus start frm yest? okie.... yest.... national day... oops... ' Happy 40th Birthday Singapore !!! I love u !!! ' heh heh heh... went for sun tanning session on this day... with... Min... Sam... Pei Ying... reached Siloso beach at ard 8 plus.... finally settled down at 9 plus... then Pei Ying called me... say.. she's reachin oredi... ohhh.... soon.. all four of us... were lying on the mat... enjoyin the sun kissing our bare skin.... this couple... beside us... were so attention-grabbin.. tat i can't help but kip lookin at them... LOL.... they.... acted as if... they're goin to drown together in e sea... some kinda Romeo & Juilet show... ekks..... they... dunno wat r they doin down in e sea.... tat gal's legs were on his shoulder.... -_-" KIDS.............................. haiz..... nowadays.... Kids ah...... can't stand them.... maturing way too fast le.... eh.... bet they hav lotsa of hormones.... then.... lotsa blangladesh came....... -_- eeks...... there's this.... damn irritating blanglah.... he wore such a ..... ugly ... lookin... underwear below.... it looks lyk... he jus striped down to his underclothes... he din wear any proper swimwear... cos... it looks too ugly.. too baggy... too disgusting to be a swimwear... YUCKS!!!!!!! and he kips running abt... doin somersaults.. handstands on e sand..... wu liao~~~~ jus cant stand the sight of them... so many... omg... lucky we went there early... cos... on our way back to harbourfront..... the shuttle bus... almost 70% filled with blanglahdesh.... *screams* how horrible... how terrifying is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.... tot we'll bumped into budDy they all... who noes... hahahah.. they're late... (expected) and.. din get to mit any of them at all... had delifrance for lunch... *yummy* then... went down to bugis st to search for our MG's costumes with nemo, ba bin no.1 and wu gui po..... then... da fiercest fight on earth is goin to begin.... hahahah ba bin no.1 .... had a huge quarrel with the auntie selling glasses... if u wan the details... go check out min's blog... hahahah.... ba bin.... u're really so lian !!! hahahah... buden... u stood up... cool~ im referrin to ur actions... not how u look k.... mus get tis clear... hahahah... aniwae... went back to studio after we've done with the glasses.... prayed hard tat there's air-con at e studio.... but... sad to say.... there's no air con... wat's worst... the maintenance person... refuses to switch on the air-con back for us.. damn.... he sux...... then... bcos there's no air con... no one can train properly... cos.. da studio is too stuffy le.... so... e trainin session... wasn't really tat productive oh... but anyways... we din cleared up some steps.... =) arghhhhhhhh.... can i cont again.......... ??? im really tired................. tml bah.......................
lemme think.............
ermm........ how many days hav i stop bloggin ???
heh heh heh heh ....
im busy lah......... paiseh...
suddenly... lotsa shows coming up........ trainings everyday..... projects....
woooooooooo..............
so many things.... all at one go!!!!!
alamak....
if i manage to do everything.... manage to pass tis yr....... manage to bring all e obstacles down....
pls.....
call me..........
a Wonder Woman.... !!!!!!
LoL.....
aye.... so many things happen... i dun even koe where to begin ah....
mmmmmmm.... alrite... let's talk abt our suntec grp first,
NRA - Mommy's Gals ~~~~~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:59 AM
* * *
Thursday, August 04, 2005
money issue on again...
tat sux...
hp bills....
never stop before.... it kips on coming... and coming....
heard frm evelyn tat... my pay is kinda little... cos.. it's in cash...
when im being paid in cash...
it mus be less than a hundred....
god..........
hw am i supposed to survive lydat?
i badly nid a haircut....
i got lotsa stuff to buy.. to do...
money... reallly... no money... no talk.... i can only dream abt it....
today... had my IBS sales call....
i tot i did quite well... cos i din stammer at all....
but.. Mr Koh... said tat... my phase 1 did v well.... upon reachin phase 2... it was all wrong... he dunno wat im askin.. dunno e reason why im askin....
in e end.... got a B- for my first sales call...
was quite sad abt it.... =(
hope tat my second sales call wld be a much better one..... so tat it can help pull up the grades...
had rehearsal today at convention... we were late... cos was practicin at blk 73 studio... apparently.. the ppl-in-charge.. weren't v happy abt it...
the damn convention centre was so freakin stuffy.. and hot.. cos they din switch on the air con....
made my temper worst....
when rehearsing... the formation was so freakin messy.... totally off-centre....
sighhh...
after e rehearsal.. went back studio... then while walkin back...
i started to feel... weird....
cant breathe properly....
cant inhale deeply....
my chest doesn't hurt....
jus that... i hav problems takin deep breaths...
it sux... made my mood worst....
cos it reminded me of asthma.....
shall not blog any more....
jus wanna say...
im v disappointed....
ppl really change....
too fast....
~~*__ Frenship is so fragile__
__ perhaps we weren't close at all__*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 2:17 AM
* * *
Monday, August 01, 2005
today... woke up at 9am plus... cos nid to go back sch... and remix our suntec song...
called tat ba bin... her stupid ringtone...
so scary.. listen to tat kinda eerie music....
spoil my mood....
then... wasted my time... waking her up....
stil ask me go buy honeydew sago frm clementi for her.........
ma fan si le.... hai wo.. perspire..... alamak....
then saw her gettin out of her father's car when i was on my way to the studio..... stood behind her and waved at her father.... hahahahaha... her father... abit stunned... but he still smiled at me...
mayb cos too sweet.. too pretty le... heh heh heh....
reached the studio... found out tat there's no air con....
alamak.... called up e security guards again.... lucky there's 2 fans in e studio... if not... cfm v stuffy oh....
then ate my breakfast there... though the time is oredi 12 plus - 1....
ate tibits also leh... potato chips, pocky, panda... etc...
ba bin buy de.... hee.. she scared i ms... scardy cat... also assume i ms... kns...
then... while remixing the song ....
i received a msg frm awi....
telling me tat.. they got performance at east coast park...
alamak.... tempted to go down loh !!!
cos i din see them dancing for such a long time... din see them at all loh.. nt even when im along orchard rd.. shopping...
nv did i bumped into them before...
was very excited abt it.......
den den.. rushed down to east coast with yen & joyce... omg...
guess wat.... all of them... the 5 guys.... all of them...
are wearin da same pants as me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the pink color s&k cargo pants!!!!!!!!! oh my god..............!!!!!!!
hahahah.... v qiao neh!!!! kekekeke.... they all look so good... hahaha....
v suai.... heez...
then... watched them dance..... woooo.... missed the feelin of watchin them dance...
and then... guess wat....
during their finale .... the MC, Najip Ali, asked all of the dancers... to go down to the crowd... and get someone up to dance with them... !!!!
i stunned.... then i turned cold.... started praying... tat he wont come and pull me...
alamak........
i bend my head down....
and then.... i saw
a dark hand right in front of my eyes.......
argGhhh !!!
i looked up.....
it's him !!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god~
so paiseh........ then... i couldn't pushed away... so..... i allow him to pull me up......... >_<
gosh~ my cheeks are turning red again...........
then... we danced together... on e grass patch....
i tot it'll only be for a while....
who koes!!!!
tat mc... ask everyone to go on stage.... and free style !!!!!
argHHhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so paiseh..................... i dunno wat im dancing also... sux sux sux..... oh my god~~~~ how embarrassing.... to dance in front of so many pro dancers..... alamak.... >_<
haiz !!! wat a day............ aWwwwwwz............
and... i ... i won an umbrella... hahahaha.....
abit no link... hahahah... but nvm... when i mention umbrella.... u'll get wat i mean... *winks*
oh... tis entry.... should be on... 31st of July... hahahah... abit lag... cos no time to blog tis entry...... kekekeke....
till again~~~~
*White Rhythm roxXxXx*
~~*__ dancing in the moonlight__
__can you feel that love is rising___
__shadows grooving, stars are crumbling__
__can life really be this good_?_?_*~~
~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 1:08 AM
* * *