blacK solitude

Friday, July 15, 2005

kinda scared...

RTHK... don hav much time left....

next sat is our competition....

our costumes not yet settled....

our song... not really out yet...

steps... haben finish learnin...

formation for some parts.. also not out yet...

and.. we got lotsa parts to clear...

wOW.....

and to think.. next week... everyone will b v busy with their papers...

how to prac???

great man....

supposed to b miting ann yesterday... but she kanna food poisoning...

omg... ke lian de ta.... owiz tio food poisoning....

mus watch wat she eats clearly oh... cos i tink.. her stomach v weak... cannot handle...

still.. we had RTHK training.... taught e rest the 'towel steps' .. but we forgot alot... in e end.. we choreo our own !! v nice... ! hahahah... ermz.. then i realise hoh... mm... the towel steps is for.. the MOE performance on sunday.... then... we included... butt shaking... alamak... lyk abit inappropriate hoh... mmmm... nvm.. ltr ask ann.. see wat she tinks... ha....

somehow... halfway thru the training... i.... kept quiet.... really quiet.... then i went off to one corner.... to do my project.... dunno why... suddenly... lotsa things on my mind... felt so tired... physically... emotionally....

and... yesterday... my leg... hurts abit...

damn...

i feel... tired....

perhaps... also bcos of tis song.... cos it kept running thru my mind... making me... even more down....

ha.... ridiculous rite?

well.... i dunno lah... i said perhaps mah....

after training... went over to blk 73 studio to say hi to sharlene....

yeah... she came down to find us after her work... hahaz... (no, she's not sweet doing tat! =p)

she was stil her usual self... acting cute.. hahah... so happy for her.. her cast is off.. her doc said she can go jogging !! hahahah.... she was very excited abt tat man ! lol.....

koe it has been really hard for u shar.... jia you !!! u're on a very fast recovery speed !!! im sure ... in no time... u'll b in the studio... dancing again !! i miss u !! =)

alrite... then went back home with buddy n joyce.... yes.. joyce? u mus b tinkin.. why is she goin back to jurong with us ?

as usual... she dun wanna go back home early... ha... but.. hai hao she's there... cos.. at least... she can talk to buddy.... did i mention tat i was very quiet ? yeah... i din speak at all.... jus closed my eyes... and slept thru the journey....

i koe... it seems lyk.. im havin mood swing again... no lah... im nt.. jus tired... when u're tired... u don hav the energy to do things.. to speak.. yes... i'm really that tired... which u guys might not fully understand bah....

i appreciate u guys makin the effort to accompany me buy dinner and some other stuff.... i felt quite bad... cos.. it feels lyk.. u guys are jus following behind me... when i dun even bother to talk to u guys...

Sorrie~~~~

To budDy... : don owiz tink u said da wrong things.. tat's y i kept quiet ... no lah... u're not so wei da k... don tink so highly of urself... hahahaz... =x im not angry with u lah... i wont b angry with u de... at most.. i'll only b pissed off.. hahaha ( i tink it's da same hoh ?) so... don owiz apologize to me... cos u've done nth wrong... even if u did.... i'll let u koe de... =) thx budDy....

alrite guys... morale of tis post...

" don kip listening to sad songs... it WILL affect ur mood !!!!! "

yeah... i better start studyin... start doin my projects.... got 2 on hands... deadline on the same date... gosh... i really must pray hard... tat i'll get thru my yr 3....

oh ya... one more thing... yesterday when i got home... shortly... my father came back.... he shocked me... really.. to e max liao.... at first.. he asked me to help him buy dinner... then i abit lazy.. i ask him.. can wait for a while mah.. cos i jus finished eating... kinda full... then he said.. he hungry.. ask me go buy... then i ask him.. mmm.. can u go down n eat?

then he looked at me.. then he said.. " wo shou shang le... how to go down eat? " he showed me his chin... it was kinda red... lyk.. the skin was rubbed against smthing v rough... then he told me..

he had an accident on the highway......

btw... in case u guys dunno...

my father... he drives a bike....

yes.... i was so shocked to hear tat...

at first i tot... okie.. at least.. he only hurt his chin.... then i ask him... u okie mah? only tis part painful har?

then.... he lifted up his leg... his left leg...

it was bleeding.....

oh my god... lucky i dun faint when i see blood.... cos .. it was really alot of blood... then i jumped up.... then i asked him to go toilet wash away the blood... then he said.. don nid lah.. then he sat down on the sofa... he said he nid to rest...

then i quickly changed.. went to the coffeeshop.. got his dinner.... i rushed back quickly... then after he finished eatin... i helped him clean his wound... wipe off some of the blood.... omg...

the wound... is so big.........................................

but.. i cant do much.. cos .. firstly, i dun really koe wat to do with such a big wound... secondly... my house.. don hav the first aid kit.. i cannot dress up the wound... all i can do.. is to help him clean the wound...

felt.. v sad... v xin tong.. when i saw him lydat... cos... lookin at my dad... he aint young anymore... he really worked v hard.. to rise the 3 of us... and.. he.. actually said to me... "i almost went down to see the Lord of Yan... lucky i managed to hold on to my life..."

im worried for him... he... stil went off to work tis morning... despite he's injuried....

i asked him.. to see a doc... he said... " no nid lah.. don wanna waste money..."

which made me feel very guilty... the reason why he's workin so hard... is purely jus bocs he wanna make sure.. all his kids.. can enjoy.. and lead a comfortable life.. he doesn't mind.. slaving off his life for us.... =(

im really thankful to hav such parents.. i koe.. they do nag at me.. scold me at times... but.. i koe... they only want me to become a better person... yet ... i dun appreciate tat... i actually rised my voice at them... wat kinda daughter am i...

i love u dad.....

i love u mom.....

sorry for not listening to u at times.....

~*__ hai ai ni dai yi dian heng__

__hai you shi jian cai neng ping heng__*~

~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 11:34 AM

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