blacK solitude

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Tired....

really tired today....

fell aslp immediately when i sat down on the bus, on my way back home...

and i mean.. immediately...

before tat... met up with joyce and xin.... went KAP to eat... had sundae..... *a lil too sweet.. but still v yummy!! *

was talkin to them... mostly on the subject on... "relationship"

guys... it's really not ez to understand gals... really.. i hav to admit... gals... they are very special kinda ppl... we may not say it out to u directly... but most of the time... we're dropping hints all the way.... try to catch it... be more attentive to watevergals say or do...

really... in order to understand gals... at least.. 20%....

guys... u gotta b real sensitive....

make sure u koe wat are her needs.....if u really put in effort... it ain't tat hard at all....

never treat a gal that u lyk... or ur gf too good... cos.. they'll take you for granted... BUT.... u cannot treat them too bad either... u've gotta learn how to balance it well...

by treatin a gal too good... she'll hav the impression tat u need her alot... u cannot live w/o her... which is wrong... bcos sooner or later... she'll get sick of you.. cos u're nth special.. nth interesting and very desperate to get her full attention...

sometimes... guys.. u nid to play hard to get too... but.. really.. nothing is good when taken in excess.... don owiz play tis kinda "game"... it'll backfire one day... before u realise it...

hope... it's useful to da guys out there....

anyway... i guess, many of u... esp those who noe abt me and him... u guys are confused and curious rite.. dunno wat's happening btw me and him... dunno whether are we stil together...

well, im confused too... but... in my point of view... i tot i oredi explained it to him... made it clear to him... but then.. i only realised that my message din really get thru to him... after i got a message frm him.. saying smthing lyk.. " oh.. i tot we're still togther... sorry.. "

sigh.....

must it be so difficult... ?

i koe.. im avoiding.... im hiding... running away from him.... not facing the reality.... gosh.... it aint easy for me too...

i mean... i dun even koe wat im feeling rite now... im confused too... he doesn't get wat i mean... i dunno how to explain to him either....

was supposed to mit him today....

ya... bingo.... i din turn up...

i chose to avoid the topic again...

i koe.. im being v unfair to him.... cos... i feel lyk.. im nt givin him an answer... he's hangin there... not knowing to give up ... or continue...

sad...

do i still hav feelings for him ??

i wish....

i can know the answer too....

im sorry... for letting u suffer lydat....

guess... i shdn't even have gotten into a relationship... cos i can't even handle my own emotions... i dun even noe wat im feeling.. wat im tinkin... if tis goes on... i'll be hurting lotsa ppl.... which i don wan to..... perhaps joyce is right... i havnt' mature yet... dunno wat i want.. dunno wat i expect in a relationship... which is why i cant handle when tis kinda situation happens...

i tink... im really not ready....

not anymore...

at least....

not now...

~*___made a stupid mistake___

___which haunts me forever___*~

~ v0nny a.K.a v|oLet ~ was alone 10:58 PM

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